When somebody has an important title, it can be perceived that they are powerful. This may or may not be the case.

The ability to reward or punish.

Charismatic Power - personal power to influence, persuade, charm etc.

Skills and ability that give advantage. eg. Negotiating skills give you expertise.

The environment in which you meet and negotiate can be a source of power or dis-empowerment.

Physical and mental health, alterness, energy, stamina, fitness.

Your situation and theirs can be a source of power. eg. the customer service person in a Post Office has situational power. They can make you wait, be helpful or not.

Personal power due to personality, physical appearance, honestly, friendliness, sensitivity etc.

Predictability and lack predictability can be both empowering or disempowering. Being too predictable can be dangerous. Being eratic and unpredictable can be disconcerting and raise the level of stress in the other party.

Most people give very little though to the next move and do very little preparaion. Highly successful negotiators do lots of preparation, research etc so they can cope with most possible seniarios effectively. It provides a real edge.)

It may be wise to get everyone in on your discussions early to avoid a “higher authority” situation interfering with the negotiation process later on.

You may care to modify your style to be in rapport or use another style to lower rapport. (Please refer to Wayne's book and audio programme for additional insights into these 4 behavioural styles.

Some questions you might ask 1. So where are you coming from? 2. How do you see the situation? 3. How do you see that this has come about? 4. Ideally what would you like to see come out of our discussions? 5. Why do you want that? 6. How do you mean? 7. Why is that important to you? 8. What would that mean to you?

FRAME UP: "Before we really get down to business here, could we just talk about some of the options available to both of us first ? eg. "May I just ask, ideally, what would you like to see as the outcome of our discussions here today? REMEMBER TO FLINCH. (See Wayne's books for more details on the power of "The Flinch".

It is much more empowering when you JUSTIFY your REASON for asking for a concession. Here is a good structure: "I need ............................... because .........................."

REMEMBER TO TRADE YOUR CONCESSIONS NOT GIVE THEM. Suggested wording. ""OK, I will agree to accept......................................................................... because.............................................................................................................. providing you agree to ................................................................................... OK?"

SUGGESTIONS: As much as possible put it in writing • You be the one to put it in writing • Confirm every detail • Build in a default agreement ie. a penalty if they default.

SOME SUGGESTIONS: * Reluctant Buyer/Seller * The Nibble * The Flinch * Higher Authority Gambit * The Bottom Line Gambit * The Vice Gambit * Good Guy Bad Guy Gambit * The Set Aside Gambit * The Hot Potato Gambit * Splitting The Difference Gambit * Funny Money * The Walk Away Gambit * Delaying and Stalling * The Pre-Condition Tactic * Personal Attacks * The Precedent Tactic * The Withdrawn Offer Gambit * Faite a Complete * The Decoy Gambit * The Puppy Dog Gambit * The Call Girl Principle

SUGGESTIONS: Have you done adequate planning? • Are you rushing the negotiating process? • Have you set your goals too low? • Are you using Counter Instinctive Behaviour? • Are you clear on your objectives? • Have you understood the real needs and intentions of the other party? • Are you talking too much? • Have you established rapport? • Are you using rapport/withdrawal of rapport, to create a win/win outcome? • Are you remembering to acknowledge the other person's view point? • Are you allowing the other person to win? • Are you being careful not to give away too much information? • Are you remembering to give out information that will empower you? • Have you encouraged the other party to make the first offer? • Have you remembered it’s often a mistake to accepted the first offer? • Have you remembered to be careful about making the first concession? • Have you made the mistake of making two or more concessions in a row? • Are you remembering to trade concessions, not give them away and to always get something in return? • Are you being too fair and giving your best deal up front? • Are you being too concerned about being liked? • Are you being too predictable? • Are you under estimating your own power? • Are you under estimating or over estimating the other party's power? • Are you assuming that the other party understands your weaknesses? • Are you understanding and recognising tactics and counter tactics? • Are you forgetting that you have something they want? • Are you failing to get an "Agree To Agree" Frame up front? • Are you being pushed by time pressure. If so can this be re-negotiated? • Are you being intimidated by emotional outbursts? • Are you afraid to admit mistakes and withdraw an offer? • Are you making the mistake of using threats and intimidation? • Are you clear on where you are at, in the negotiation? • Are you making the mistake of stopping at a temporary impasse? • Are you remembering to handle objections using the correct techniques? • Are you remembering to confirming everything in writing quickly? • Are you forgetting to practise these techniques in real life situations everyday?